I maintain the conviction that it is forever an option to transform. I believe you absolutely are able to train a seasoned creature, as long as the mature being is willing and eager for knowledge. As long as the person is ready to confess when it was wrong, and work to become a more enlightened self.
Alright, I confess, I am the old dog. And the lesson I am attempting to master, even though I am a creature of habit? It is an important one, a feat I have battled against, often, for my whole existence. The quest I'm on … to grow less fearful of the common huntsman. My regrets to all the remaining arachnid species that exist; I have to be grounded about my capacity for development as a human. The target inevitably is the huntsman because it is sizeable, dominant, and the one I encounter most often. Including a trio of instances in the recent past. Within my dwelling. I'm not visible to you, but I’m shaking my head with discomfort as I type.
It's unlikely I’ll ever reach “enthusiast” status, but I’ve been working on at least attaining Normal about them.
A deep-seated fear of spiders from my earliest years (unlike other children who adore them). Growing up, I had a sufficient number of brothers around to make sure I never had to confront any myself, but I still panicked if one was obviously in the immediate vicinity as me. I have a strong memory of one morning when I was eight, my family unconscious, and facing the ordeal of a spider that had crawled on to the family room partition. I “managed” with it by retreating to a remote corner, almost into the next room (in case it chased me), and emptying a generous amount of insect spray toward it. The spray failed to hit the spider, but it succeeded in affecting and irritate everyone in my house.
With the passage of time, whoever I was dating or sharing a home with was, automatically, the least afraid of spiders in our pairing, and therefore responsible for managing the intruder, while I emitted frightened noises and beat a hasty retreat. If I was on my own, my strategy was simply to vacate the area, turn off the light and try to ignore its presence before I had to re-enter.
Recently, I stayed at a friend’s house where there was a particularly sizable huntsman who resided within the casement, mostly just lingering. In order to be more comfortable with its presence, I imagined the spider as a 'girlie', a one of the girls, in our circle, just lounging in the sun and listening to us gab. Admittedly, it appears extremely dumb, but it worked (to some degree). Or, the deliberate resolution to become less phobic worked.
Be that as it may, I've made an effort to continue. I think about all the rational arguments not to be scared. I am aware huntsman spiders won’t harm me. I understand they consume things like insect pests (my mortal enemies). It is well-established they are one of the planet's marvelous, benign creatures.
Yet, regrettably, they do continue to move like that. They propel themselves in the deeply alarming and borderline immoral way possible. The sight of their many legs transporting them at that alarming velocity causes my ancient psyche to kick into overdrive. They are said to only have eight legs, but I am convinced that increases exponentially when they are in motion.
However it is no fault of their own that they have frightening appendages, and they have the same privilege to be where I am – possibly a greater claim. I’ve found that employing the techniques of working to prevent immediately exit my own skin and run away when I see one, attempting to stay calm and collected, and deliberately thinking about their good points, has proven somewhat effective.
Simply due to the reality that they are furry beings that move hastily extremely quickly in a way that causes me nocturnal distress, is no reason for they deserve my hatred, or my high-pitched vocalizations. I am willing to confess when I’ve been wrong and motivated by unfounded fear. I doubt I’ll ever reach the “scooping one into plasticware and relocating it outdoors” phase, but one can't be sure. A bit of time remains within this old dog yet.
Elara is a seasoned writer and digital nomad who shares her adventures and expertise in lifestyle and technology.